“As sisters, let’s all strive to be better to each other. I feel the main hindrance to a strong sisterhood is our inability to stop backbiting… Allah didn’t put us here to tear each other down and be divided.”
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These days, it seems as though most us don’t fully understand what sisterhood is.
Before I go any further, I must say I may not be the best sister in the world, but there are too many issues to ignore. As sisters, we shouldn’t be so quick to talk about and judge each other. Most of the time (and I mean most of the time like 99.9% of the time) we have absolutely no clue what is going on in the personal lives of others.
Many wear a mask when leaving their homes. They smile and say “Allah is sufficient for me” when in fact times are extremely difficult. A lot of times when thinking of the hungry, we think of individuals in far away places. We never think the ones starving could be the ones praying next to us. The ones who were made fun of for wearing the same dress frequently.
At times we don’t even have the decency or common sense to keep our negative thoughts to ourselves. We begin by saying “AstaghfirAllah, but…”. Starting a backbiting session (or any sin for that matter) by saying “God forgive me” doesn’t make it better. It seems it would be worse because we actually know better.
We should keep in mind the rights of our sisters (and brothers). At the end of the day we may ask God to forgive us, but we still need the forgiveness from the ones we’ve talked about. The reality about backbiting is it hurts others. We are all humans, and as strong as we try to be when we learn we have been slandered, we feel pain. Especially if we are slandered by ones we trusted, stood up for, prayed for, etc.
As mentioned earlier, many times we don’t know what is going on with our sisters. When we don’t see each other for a while we automatically think “oh so and so has changed” or “she thinks she is this or that”. Instead of picking up the phone and calling, we talk about our sisters to others. Our sisters could be at home sick, going through a rough time, or suffering in some way or another and here we are talking about her. To add to that point, in her suffering, she may be making du’ah (supplicating) for us. Do we know? Do we check on each other? Or do we just chat for mere entertainment? God knows best what is going on in each of our lives and only He can judge, but we must hold ourselves accountable.
Another issue when it comes to sisterhood are the cliques that exist. I am aware this is not just a local issue either. It is completely understood that when one moves to a foreign land they want to be around people who speak their language, eat the same foods, and have the same culture, but “As Salaam Alaikum” and a smile are universal. You don’t have to be from the same place to exchange the greetings.
Many times, sisters will walk past a sister who doesn’t share the same background and not even acknowledge her. Sometimes, it’s as though she doesn’t exist! Once again, we are all human here, so this may have an effect. We should treat others the way we would like to be treated.
As sisters, let’s all strive to be better to each other. I feel the main hindrance to a strong sisterhood is our inability to stop backbiting. We must find new topics of conversations other than the lives of our sisters. Being connected and loving each other for the sake of Allah is a start. Allah didn’t put us here to tear each other down and be divided. Each and every one of us are sisters. It doesn’t matter about the background or status. Those petty things should not stop us from forming a strong sisterhood where we encourage one another to be the best we could possibly be. May Allah help us all and make us among the sincere.